How Your Body Stores Stress (And How It Begins to Let Go)
- Kiernan Garvie
- Jul 9
- 4 min read
Have you ever noticed that your body remembers things your mind has already forgotten?
Maybe your shoulders tighten the moment someone raises their voice.
Maybe your stomach knots before an important conversation.
Maybe you wake up already feeling tired, even after a full night's sleep.
Or perhaps you've caught yourself saying something I've heard countless times...
"I don't know why I feel like this."
I understand that feeling.
Because many of us have spent years believing that once something is over, it should no longer affect us.
We tell ourselves,
"That happened years ago."
"I should be over it by now."
"It wasn't even that bad."
But our bodies don't experience time the same way our minds do.
Our minds remember through thoughts.
Our bodies remember through sensation.
And sometimes, what we call stress isn't just today's stress.
It's yesterday's stress...
Last year's grief...
Childhood's uncertainty...
Years of putting everyone else first.
Our bodies quietly carry what we've never had the chance to put down.
We Think Stress Lives in Our Minds
Most people believe stress is something we think.
I don't.
After years of sitting with people during some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives, I've noticed something.
Stress has a shape.
You can see it.
Shoulders pulled toward the ears.
A jaw that's always tight.
Shallow breathing.
Hands that never stop moving.
A body that looks like it's preparing for something... even when nothing is happening.
Long before someone tells me they're overwhelmed...
Their body usually has.
Reflection
Take a slow breath.
Not because you need to relax.
Just because I want you to become curious.
As you're reading this...
Where is your body asking for your attention?
Your neck?
Your shoulders?
Your chest?
Your stomach?
Your hips?
There isn't a right answer.
There is only awareness.
Sometimes healing begins the moment we notice what we've been ignoring.
Your Body Isn't Betraying You
One of the greatest shifts I've witnessed in people happens when they stop fighting their bodies.
Instead of asking,
"Why won't my anxiety go away?"
They begin asking,
"What has my body been trying to tell me?"
That one question changes everything.
Because suddenly your body is no longer the enemy.
It's a messenger.
Pain.
Tension.
Fatigue.
Restlessness.
Even numbness.
Sometimes they're not problems to eliminate.
Sometimes they're invitations to listen.
We Become So Good at Holding Everything Together
I've met people who have survived incredibly difficult seasons of life.
Divorce.
Loss.
Caretaking.
Childhood trauma.
Workplace stress.
Health challenges.
Yet when I ask them how they're doing...
They smile.
"I'm fine."
It's almost automatic.
We've become experts at functioning.
Going to work.
Making supper.
Paying the bills.
Showing up for everyone else.
All while quietly disconnecting from ourselves.
The body notices that disconnection.
Eventually...
It asks us to slow down.
Sometimes gently.
Sometimes loudly.
Reflection
Can I ask you something?
When was the last time you rested...
Not because you were exhausted...
But because you believed you deserved to?
Many of us don't know how to answer that.
We've confused rest with reward.
As though we have to earn it.
What if rest isn't something you earn?
What if it's something your nervous system needs in order to heal?
Letting Go Doesn't Always Look the Way We Expect
People often ask me,
Honestly...
It's different for everyone.
Sometimes people cry.
Sometimes they laugh.
Sometimes they fall asleep.
Sometimes they become aware of emotions they didn't know were still there.
Sometimes nothing dramatic happens at all.
Just a long, deep breath they haven't taken in years.
Healing isn't always about releasing everything in one moment.
More often...
It's about teaching your body that it no longer has to carry everything alone.
That's a much gentler way to heal.
And in my experience...
It's also the one that lasts.
I truly believe that.
Not because life is easy.
Not because pain disappears.
But because I've witnessed what happens when people finally feel safe enough to soften.
The body knows what to do.
Just as a cut begins healing without us thinking about it...
Our nervous systems also move toward healing when the conditions feel safe.
Our job isn't to force healing.
Our job is to create the environment where healing becomes possible.
Before You Go...
Can I leave you with one thought?
The next time your shoulders tighten...
Your jaw clenches...
Your stomach knots...
Instead of immediately trying to make the feeling disappear...
Pause.
Take one slow breath.
And simply ask,
"What are you trying to tell me?"
You might be surprised by how much wisdom your body has been quietly carrying all along.
At Ki'smet Co., I don't believe your body is something to fix.
I believe it's something to understand.
Because when we stop fighting ourselves...
We finally make room to heal.
Come as you are. Leave a little lighter. 🤍
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