DOES THIS BELONG TO ME?
Have you ever walked into a room feeling completely fine and left feeling heavy, irritated, anxious or exhausted? Maybe someone was upset. Maybe the room felt tense. Maybe you spent an hour listening to somebody talk about everything going wrong in their life. And afterward, something in you just felt different.
One question I come back to often is:
Does this belong to me? ✨
That question isn’t about denying our emotions. It’s about learning to notice the difference between what we are personally experiencing and what we may be responding to around us.
Human beings are incredibly responsive to one another. We notice facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, tension, silence and mood. Our nervous system is gathering information long before our conscious mind has decided what it all means. That is part of how we connect. But for people who are especially sensitive, intuitive, empathic or accustomed to caring for others, that awareness can become exhausting.
Imagine walking into work and somebody is angry. They don’t even have to be angry with you. Your shoulders tighten. Your stomach shifts. You start scanning the room. Your nervous system has already responded.
Or maybe someone you love is deeply anxious. You sit with them, listen, reassure them and help them through it. Hours later, they feel better, but somehow you’re the one carrying the tension.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you have literally absorbed someone else’s emotion. It can simply mean your nervous system responded strongly to theirs. Either way, the experience is real.
Helpers are particularly good at this. 💛 Teachers, educational assistants, parents, caregivers, healthcare workers, therapists, healers and social workers often become very skilled at noticing changes in other people’s emotional states.
Sometimes too skilled.
You may automatically adjust your voice, your behavour, your energy and your expectations. You may spend so much time regulating yourself around everyone else that you lose track of what you were feeling before you entered the situation.
When you suddenly feel emotionally heavy, pause for a moment and ask yourself: What was I feeling five minutes ago? What changed? Did something happen directly to me? Am I responding to the environment? Am I worried about someone else? Am I carrying responsibility that belongs to another adult?
And then ask: Does this belong to me? 🌿
You don’t need to immediately find the perfect answer. Sometimes the act of asking is enough to create awareness.
Boundaries aren’t only about saying no. Emotional boundaries can be much quieter. They can sound like: I care about you, but I don’t have to solve this. I can listen without taking responsibility. Someone can be upset and I can still be okay. Their reaction doesn’t automatically mean I’ve done something wrong. I can support someone without carrying their experience home with me.
That is nervous system work too.
Sensitive people are often told they need thicker skin. I don’t think sensitivity itself is the problem. Sensitivity can make someone deeply compassionate, observant, intuitive, creative and connected.
The difficulty comes when we don’t know how to stay connected to ourselves while we are connected to everyone else.
The goal isn’t becoming less sensitive. The goal is learning how to recognize where you end and somebody else begins. 🤍
After a demanding interaction, give yourself a moment to come back to yourself. Feel your feet on the ground. Take a slower breath. Notice the room around you. Move your body. Step outside. Wash your hands. Sit quietly. Journal. Meditate.
Whatever helps you recognize: I am here. This is my body. This is my experience. I can release what I no longer need to carry.
In my work, I don’t believe every experience has to fit neatly into one explanation. Sometimes we can understand something through the nervous system. Sometimes through emotional awareness. Sometimes through energy work. Sometimes through intuition.
And sometimes all of those perspectives can exist together. ✨
What matters most is whether the practice helps you become more aware of yourself rather than more afraid of the world around you.
At Ki’smet Co in Saskatoon, much of my work involves helping people slow down and reconnect with what is actually happening inside them. People often arrive feeling emotionally heavy, overwhelmed, scattered or simply tired of carrying too much.
Through nervous system regulation, meditation, Reiki, energy work and intuitive support, the intention is to create enough space for you to listen inward again.
Not to disconnect from other people.
Not to stop caring.
But to remember that caring does not require carrying everything. 🌙
The next time your mood suddenly changes, the next time you leave a conversation feeling completely drained, or the next time you find yourself feeling responsible for somebody else’s emotions, ask yourself:
Does this belong to me?
And if the answer is no, maybe you don’t have to take it with you.
Helping people come home to themselves. 💫
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